


Steal Your Attention

by sashawiremarryme



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Juno Steel Fluff Week 2018, Other, i didn't mean for it to be this long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 19:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15126746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashawiremarryme/pseuds/sashawiremarryme
Summary: Juno Steal has had a long week, the last thing he wants is to be dragged to a ball by a master thief. Unfortunately for Juno, this particular thief is very persuasive.





	1. I'm only going to this thing to stop Nureyev from breaking the law

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone ignore cannon for a minute so that this lady can be happy

Juno Steel had mixed feelings about answering mysterious phone calls. It was just as likely to be someone he cared about as it was someone who wanted him dead. Most of the time, it was both. He braced himself and picked up the phone.

“Evening Lily,” Peter Nureyev’s voice was deeper than it normally was with a slight accent the Juno couldn’t place. “I’m just calling to remind you that I’ve arranged a car to deliver you to our date tonight.”

“Our what?” After the day that he’d had, Juno almost wished this phone call was from someone who wanted him dead.

“Lily! You didn’t forget, did you?” He could almost hear Nureyev’s smile as he dragged Juno into his latest scheme. “Good thing I called, I swear you’d forget your good looks if they weren’t attached to you. If I were you I’d start getting ready now, there will a car waiting for the very handsome Lilith Statice outside your apartment at 8:30 and you better be ready. Preferably in that yellow dress I got you awhile ago, you look incredible in that dress.”

“I don’t know… dear.” Juno stumbled over that last word, if Nureyev wasn’t using Juno’s name it must be because he assumed they were being listened to. After the day he’d had, the last thing Juno wanted to do right now was get involved in whatever Nureyev was planning. “I’ve had a long day, I don’t think I can make it through a night out.”

“You’ll have to manage, I can’t exactly attend Nasim Alikhan’s couples ball alone, can I?” Juno couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Couple, with Nureyev. Actually, now that he thought about it, Juno could believe what he was hearing, this is exactly the kind of stunt Nureyev would pull. “Please,” Nureyev’s voice softened, “just be ready by 8:30. I’ll make this up to you, I promise.”

“Hey, I tried being polite but that didn’t work. No, I’m not going.”

“I don’t see why you’re being so unreasonable about this, it’s not as though anything particularly exciting is going to happen. What are you expecting, to get caught up in a robbery?” Juno knew Nureyev was trying to goad him, he heard the challenge. Nureyev was going to steal something at that ball and he was just daring Juno to try and stop him.

“You know what?” Juno wasn’t going to fall for that. “You’re right, I can suffer through it for a few hours.” He wasn’t going to try and stop him. “But if this ball really is as boring as you claim then I probably won’t be able to keep my eyes off you.” He was going to stop Peter Nureyev.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way darling.”


	2. Wow, I actually look decent

Juno had completely forgotten that Nureyev had mentioned a yellow dress until he walked into his bedroom. Laid out on his bed was the dress in question, along with underwear, pantyhose, and a pair of heels. Juno immediately decided that he was not going to give Nureyev the satisfaction of choosing his underwear, but he did put the rest the clothes on.

The dress felt expensive and looked better on him than it had any right to. Despite being bright yellow it managed not to draw an excessive amount of attention to itself, it complemented Juno’s features instead of overpowering them. The design itself was fairly plain, it’s strapless top was fitted so well that Juno had to make a conscious effort to not think about how Nureyev knew his measurements so well and bottom hung loosely to the floor. A large slit ran up the right side and stopped about two-thirds of the way up his thigh. The shoes were silver and encrusted with enough diamonds to pay Rita’s salary for the rest of her life. Juno hated to admit that he liked the way he looked.

Juno was practiced enough with makeup that it only took him a moment finish getting ready after he was dressed. He didn’t bother doing anything with his hair, he hoped it would come across as deliberately disheveled instead of lazy.

He looked at the time, he still had a few minutes before the car was meant to arrive. He was pacing his apartment, trying to get used to a pair of heels that about an inch higher than what he would usually wear when he saw the note. It was sitting on the bed where the dress had been, Juno swore that it hadn’t been there before. He opened it.

 

Lily,

I hope you don’t mind that I picked out your outfit for you, I know how indecisive you can be. I can’t wait to see you in it tonight.

Love,

Cyrus

 

At least Juno knew what name Nureyev was using now. He half expected to be forced to call him ‘sweetheart’ all night.

Juno checked the time again. It was nearly time to leave. He took one final lap of his apartment. When he walked past his blaster he nearly took it. He wondered if the security at this party would check for weapons. It probably wasn’t worth the risk, Nureyev would never let him forget it if he got arrested for trying to sneak a blaster into a ball.

He finally left his apartment and walked out to the car. When he opened the door the first thing he noticed was the smell, a cologne he didn’t expect to smell until later in the evening. The second thing he noticed was Nureyev spread out across the seat.

“Hi Cyrus,” Juno glared at Nureyev when he knew the driver couldn’t see him, “I didn’t realise that we were meeting here, I assumed we were meeting at the ball.” He tried to disguise his surprise at seeing Nureyev.

“Why would we do that?” Nureyev stretched out even further across the seat. It was impossible not to touch him unless Juno pushed himself against the door. He considered it but decided it would be too difficult to explain why he was trying so hard to avoid touching his partner. “I have the only invitation, if we arrived separately then one of us would be stuck outside waiting for the other to arrive.”

Nureyev looked beautiful. His dark purple dress flared out from his waist and helped him take up even more room in the car. His heels were the same colour and were far too high to be practical. He wore a pair of elaborate gold earrings that were so big that they reached his chin, every time he moved his head they made a surprisingly loud jangling sound. The entire outfit seemed to mock him. How could anyone steal anything while wearing a dress that noticeable, shoes that restricting, and jewelry that loud? If anyone could manage it, Nureyev could.

Juno spent most of the car ride trying to compose himself. Seeing Nureyev always sent his mind into a tailspin and he hadn’t been expecting to see him so soon. He needed to get his thoughts together before they arrived, he needed to be ready to stop Nureyev.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might actually be the first time I have ever tried to describe clothing


	3. Okay, maybe he didn't steal anything

When they finally arrived at the ball Juno wasn’t doing much better than he was at the start of the journey. Even in his distracted state he couldn’t help but notice that they didn’t need an invitation, Nureyev just gave the security their aliases and they were permitted to enter.

Cyrus Statice, née Chief was a fashion designer from the Trappist-1 system who had met his husband while working less than a year ago. Lilith Statice was a model who now works exclusively with his husband. If you hadn’t heard of this couple then you clearly weren’t worth talking to. That was the story Nureyev told anytime the other guests began to question who this mysterious pair was.

Juno was willing to admit it was enjoyable to watch the elite squirm and try to lie by claiming that they were some of the Statice’s biggest fans, claiming to own some of the clothes that Cyrus had designed, and claiming that they would have worn them if they realised that they were going to be here. But Juno couldn’t take his eyes off Nureyev. He tried to justify to himself by telling himself it was purely to stop Nureyev but if he was being honest, part of him just wanted to look at this beautiful man for as long as he was able.

“You’re a lucky man,” Juno heard someone say behind them. Nureyev grabbed his waist and turned him to face a person in a tuxedo so dark it seemed to suck the light of the room around it. They were wearing three rings on each hand, each one bigger and more expensive looking than the last. Their hair was held in place by an intricate golden headband. “Most people would kill to have a lady as beautiful as Lilith look at them that way.”

“Trust me, if you knew what I had to do to get him to look at me like that you would wish it were as easy as murdering a few innocent people.” The new arrival laughed. “Lily, I don’t believe you’ve had the privilege of meeting our host. This is Mx Alikhan themself.”

“Please, call me Nasim.” They extended a hand for Juno to shake.

“Nice to meet you.” Juno nearly grunted at the surprising weight of their hand, those rings must be as heavy as they looked. Nureyev shook their hand next before the two of them began to tell the story of how Cyrus and Nasim first met and how happy Nasim was that Cyrus had found someone so that they could finally invite him to this couples only event. Juno stopped listening pretty quick. It was a long and complicated story that could be summarised by the sentence ‘we met at work’. Juno wondered how long Nureyev had used this alias for.

“Are we boring you, Lilith?” Alikhan raised an eyebrow and stared at Juno.

“What? no, no, you were saying something about work?” Juno tried to remember where the conversation had been leading before he stopped paying attention.

“Don’t be ridiculous Lilith, of course we’re boring you. Can you believe we’re talking about work tonight? We’re meant to be having fun!” They laughed. “I’ll stop stealing your husband from you and let you enjoy yourself.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Nasim,” Nureyev said, “You could never compete with Lily.”

“I can dream, can’t I?” Alikhan shook Juno’s hand again. Now that Juno was expecting the weight their hand didn’t seem as heavy. “It was a genuine pleasure to meet you, Lilith.”

“Yeah… sure.” Juno stuttered. Before Nureyev whisked him away.

“Thank you for that,” Nureyev whispered in his ear, “I had nearly exhausted my knowledge of 2900s Plutonian fashion trends.” He pulled Juno towards the centre of the room where couples were dancing. “A certain secretary told me that a certain lady is, despite his claims to the contrary, a very talented dancer. And I refuse to believe that unless I see it for myself.”

“I don’t see any ladies that can dance here so you better start looking for him.” Juno replied even though he was already positioning his body to waltz with Nureyev. There was little point in saying anything, Nureyev wasn’t going to give up until Juno danced with him, and if Juno supposed that they were worse people to dance with.

They spent the rest of the night like that. They weren’t the most graceful couple, Juno was about fifteen years out of practice and Nureyev was contending with a pair of heels that really weren’t designed to be danced in, but neither of them cared. They were too focused on each other to worry about what a room of people they would probably never see again thought about them.

It wasn’t until the ride home that Juno remembered he was meant to be stopping Nureyev from stealing anything.


	4. I was right!

“Okay, what did you do?” Juno couldn’t take it anymore. They’d arrived at Juno’s apartment a few hours ago and Juno spent most of that time trying to work out what had happened that night. He was with Nureyev the whole night, he had barely taken his eyes off him, there was no way he could have stolen anything. So why had he looked so smug for the past few hours?

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” Nureyev pressed his lips together, making little effort to hide his smile.

“Really?” Juno was nearly yelling now. “You drag me along to some extravagant party, heavily imply that you’re planning on stealing something, start acting smug as soon as we leave, and now you have the audacity to pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I was watching you all night and I didn’t see anything. What did you do?”

“You think I was trying to steal something?” Nureyev almost looked insulted.

“What other explanation is there?”

“In that case, maybe I was trying to steal your attention, your time.” Nureyev hissed.

“I… what?” Juno was taken aback. Nureyev could have his attention anytime he wanted it. All he had to do was exist and Juno could barely take his eyes off of him.

“The past few days you’ve been so caught up in your cases I’ve barely seen you. Even when you’re with me you’re still distracted by your work. I leave Mars again in a few hours and I wanted one night without you getting distracted. So when I found out someone I once knew happened to be hosting a ball tonight I wanted you to come with me. I’m sorry that the only way I could get you there was by making you think you were there to prevent a crime.” Nureyev breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes when he finished speaking and fell onto Juno’s couch.

“Nureyev… I’m sorry.” Nureyev’s eyes shot open. Juno continued before he could interrupt. “I didn’t mean to do that, it’s just been a bad few weeks.” He leaned towards Nureyev to kiss him.

“Don’t be sorry, that’s not your fault.” Nureyev pulled him closer and Juno lost his balance. He reached out to stop his fall and his hand landed on Nureyev’s chest. He felt several hard shapes, about the size of small rocks, that were previously hidden by the loose shirt Nureyev was wearing. He felt Nureyev stiffen when his hand connected. He brushed aside Juno’s hand under the guise of grabbing his arm to steady him.

“Nureyev?”

“Hmm?” Nureyev innocently raised an eyebrow.

“What’s in your pocket?” Juno knew from experience that Nureyev would play innocent until the end, even if he knew he’d been caught he would still try to convince his accuser that they were mistaken.

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“What is in the inside pocket of your shirt?”

“I have absolutely idea what you’re talking about.” Nureyev continued to refuse to admit guilt. “I already told you, I’m not up to anything and if I’m being frank, this suspicion is insulting.”

“You know what,” Juno leaned in close, “you’re right.” He kissed him. “We should just enjoy ourselves tonight.” He continued kissing Nureyev. When Nureyev started kissing him back he unbuttoned his shirt just enough to reach that concealed pocket. He grabbed what was inside and pulled it out before Nureyev could react.

He opened his hand to find six rings. Six large, expensive looking rings.

“Nureyev?”

“Hmm?”

“Are these the rings that Alikhan was wearing?” Juno tried to replay the meeting with Alikhan in his mind. They hadn’t even touched, Nureyev’s hands were on Juno the whole time. Wait, no they weren’t, Nureyev had shaken Alikhan’s hand, right after Juno had. “Is that why their hand was lighter the second time I shook it, their rings were fake? How did you do that?”

Nureyev just smiled, and Juno knew he was never going to find out the whole truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls be happy juno  
> (and pls come back peter)


End file.
